EMOTIONAL INDUSTRY

"Don’t let your studies interfere with your education."
-Pete Seeger

INTRODUCTION:

My life is ever changing. A constant mess and a constant drivel, at least it’s unpredictable. It is that unpredictability which surmounts to all of my talent and creativity, and probably that which draws me to writing in the most li teral sense.

Whatever it is that forces me to love the words and the ink they’re written in, is another matter entirely. It is that force which gave me these poems, and which gives them now to you. My only wish is that they give you pleasure in some way. Maybe they will spark some new thought, maybe they will make you smile, maybe they will make you dream. Whatever the case may be, read on.

Peach Trees

Over and over
peach trees
drop their stinking red,
wrinkled old seeds
on my head.
And flowers,
someone handed to me
for no apparent reason,
wilt the moment
they touch my hand.
As if I’m not allowed
to enjoy myself.
Crazy old men,
themselves prisoners
of a sloshing life,
seem to care more than
my wife.

Not My Bloody-Fucking War

"Not my bloody-fucking war,"
I’ve been known to swear bitterly,
complaining about my life,
I hate this whole life thing.

Sometimes,
as we near that point
where our souls won’t take anymore,
we realize that we should be stronger than that.

I think life isn’t really all that bad,
it’s just the little things that make it seem that way.

With The Rain

Seasonal disorders
affect the way the world spins
and send my head,
pounding though it is,
into some sort of
unconscious callous funk,
playing with the held emotions,
playing with the repetitiveness,
playing with my writing hand
as it trembles with the tears.

higher, brighter, happier,
with the rain.

Darkwater Eyes

dream sky filled with tension
lovers arms, candle kisses,
fire spit, that burns and sizzles,
aching melody with harpsichord screams
and darkwater eyes...

cradled beyond arms.

like a time traveler seeking worship in his past
I sought hatred in myself
I thought alone.
dark whispered stipends
couldn’t cross my mind until
a girl with colored hair
and pebbles on her sandals,
between her toes,
struck a chord on an old guitar
forcing me to believe.

I swore I’d never believe
you could show me,
you could shove it in my face and step on it.

she held the meaningless symbol up to the moon
you could say it smiled at me
that’s when it came, the cradled candle
the siren’s voice to mine, our tongues together.

"Louder than love." I’ve heard said.
Well, not this.
Heard a lifetime away, this was love,
with full blossomed pain.

That Shallow Part of the River

...that shallow part of the river,
where you can walk
with your pants legs
rolled up to just below your knees,
and your feet sink
about an inch
into that brown-green muck stuff.

Untitled

Her point of view is crazy-whacked.
"Not you too..."
She doesn’t remember.
Or care to.

Drinking Drown

Lines and lines and lines of Tuesday...
Tomorrow was the last time I ever loved.
leave me up to forever’s must
Have you kissed fire?
believe it or not...
I’m feeling fine,
lusting loud,
playing proud,
drinking drown...

Hurt

I keep hurting myself,
or getting hurt.
Not much difference anyway.
It’s as if I stare into his eyes,
feeling for what he feels with my will.
And I can put my leg on your knees...

Candied Skies

Candy skied eyed,
bright baby,
ten finger,
smile singer,
gun slinger.

Held her in my arms.
Thought of her mother,
sharp tongued,
smiled a lot ,
wild hair,
weird woman,
tender lips.

Jack

Genie in a lamp to rub
pops-up
Jacks in your box

Love in Lavender
till April
flowers bloom in spring

cursed word
spoken verse
flies bite hurt
but he bites worse

phone by bedside
in hopes of keeping
there again a silly man
and his dreams

not too late
too pretend
the second hand past noon
the other on your breast

but the little man
push his head down again
shut the lid
and there’s no music...

I am a Crying man.

In dark corners
of sweaty parties.

On the street curb
with my back
facing her cruel playing.

In desperate situations.
Or situations that seem desperate.

Under the heavy covers
in my room
with the dim light
filtering through my hair,
damp with
salt water.

Aesthetic Eyes

Crazy horses
pulling at my limbs.
Chalk drawings of cliffs
on a sidewalk.

turn the TV on
play the game-tunnel through the sky
in my fifth dimension

Aesthetic eyes look at dirt,
bloodshot-hot, vein-lined, tired eyes hurt.

Some-fling Wrong

Just a little fling.
Not committed or any-fling.
No-fling serious.
Some-fling that just happened.
One fling led to another.
Flings got out of hand.
So many flings didn’t make sense,
I started fling-king about
working flings out.
And then every-fling ended at once.

Today is the sun

holding hands with golden rays
dreaming bright red color changes
with my back against the green softness
palms pressed tightly.

I know our thoughts are like soup
and left to themselves
will separate
so I open my mouth and stir
because I want to taste them,
I want to taste you
glinting like stars or diamonds
both pierce my soul,
so has something about you.

Slip the Skin, Sin

The needle was what we needed
in yellow wrinkled skin
sour white powder taste
in the back of our mouths
hiding behind pursed lips

my hero
my love

stroke swollen veins
tight, pull it tight,
and stick it in
let it bleed, that’s ok,
just get it all in...

the tears in your eclipsed pupils.

your pupils eclipsed by the curve of your eye lids
with that little soft wet line of almost a tear
forming only to run down into that corner of your eye
and be wiped away by a stray sleeve.

The feel of the floor.

The feel of the floor.
something I guess isn’t all that uncommon,
except in my room
except where the clothes pile up
where the laundry hasn’t been done
and should be, but isn’t.
the feel of the floor is far beneath
buried, and out of sight and mind
hey floor! wha’cha gonna do?
can’t bite my feet no more!
can’t hold me down.
saved by the clothes I never wear.

one and two are numbers

pretty crazy there,
how one and two are numbers,
wouldn’t want to be one of them,
Numbers.
they can add and all that,
but I just don’t like ‘em
I wouldn’t want to be one either.
I couldn’t handle the placement
I couldn’t live with the division
I’d just want to multiply all the time
and never subtract or equal
oh well, numbers suck.

Great Dane

Big dog, get down
teeth marks on wood,
and dents in chain fences
smile gray for me.
yellow and red are not
good colors
for me.

good that god likes me
didn’t bite me in the ass
great Danes’ eyes are lookin’
I wonder, at me
do I have a tasty looking
fleshy color?

Please, please...
I fold my hands,
while trying not to look
out the corner of my eye
as I walk by

and noticeably my shoulders relax
when the chain
snaps his neck stopped.

Hospital

pretest for the incoming firing squad
they’ve got to hit the apples,
or nothing at all
and if a little red splashes on the apples
and we have to get a new apple-stand
nothing at all
is what we have to replace.

Crank

turned around the corner
walked up a creek
to where there were creeps in corduroy
laying on the bank

the snow had all melted
the day before
so someone whose back there was wet
and I laughed

crank up the old musical boxes
with their little spinnerets
in ballerina attire on a spring
and lets all dance on the bank

with the village corner
and stores with big windows in the front of them
just down the creek
with the creeps in corduroy
dancing a jingle
and me and a box with little ‘Jill’ I named her
cranking in the creek

Golden Friend

puppet like limbs
limbs like puppets’
creamy painted eyes
flaking gold foil on wood
carried never put away
held never left to sit
who has been there for me?
not you.
my mommy gave her to me,
before she died.
and I don’t care
if her painted lips are split,
her dress is torn,
or if she never talks to me
like she used to.
who has been there for me?
not you.

FULL AROUND

today’s circle
we’ll come to the top again
tomorrow.

looking inward
I can see myself, drudging
on the other side,
blindfolded with my head down or looking away.

Don’t look inward,
it hurts your eyes.
And now I think
I’ll take my own
advice.

That Suede Color

shoes that suede color
you know how they feel
to dance in them
to run in them
to hold hands
and try not to step on feet
to look into eyes that suede color
you know how they feel

Cheeze

Cheezy: adjective
commonly used to describe
smiles and grins,
bad movies or plays,
love songs and love poems,
stories about love, and
common occurrences in my life.

alot’a people smilin’

Boy, that sure feels good.
And it really makes a difference
in the people,
when you look at ‘em
after two, three days of sun...
they’re all smiling.

I thought,
it’s a nice day to get in some walking,
so I got up and put my walkin’ shoes on
this morning.
They’re will be alot’a people out walking today
alot’a people out smiling.

Soliloquy

Tear.
I can’t tear.
I can’t tear troubled tears,
troubled tears from pouting eyes.

Belong to me my son.
"I’ve swept away the magic with my callused hands."
The dying reach for you and your young flesh.
"Give me life!" They cry.
Screams should echo between your ears.
Instead you’ve become deaf, and dumb.

The daytime brings bombs and a roaring you can’t hear.
Dragons breathe their pretty fire.
"Look, I can’t. I’ve lived longer than this." one says to you.
Your boot crushes an empty skull.

"Who would care?"
Well I’ll tell you I haven’t.
Who would care?
"We all should." said the liar to no one.

Gorgeous.
Glam-ur is in you.
I will follow,
I can follow,
I could care, should care, don’t.
You could end up like this.
You could end up like this.

I feel like crying

awash
without
within
with held
withdrawn
with tears

Perspective

Eye to eye
Lie to lie
Feel the dead against you
leaning toward the tree
and looking down
in moderation
force of habit
force of will.

violent eyes
spin silent lies
to death.
I’ll take this to my grave.

Subliminal Reverb

I watch it all go by in monotone,
I think I’m feeling everything in subliminal reverberations
or tonight at least.
But right now I want to write about orgasms,
and drippy wet people slipping together
between soaked sheets
with arms and legs and other miscellaneous appendages wrapped around each other
and lips and tongues sharing saliva and other fluids
while in other parts of the world
people starve to death.

sweet feel

sweet feel falsely forgotten
as faint memory slides away
to be loved, to be loved
with tender caress
felt deep

play radio songs in my head
as over and over again
I spin with you
in remembering
yesterdays dance

timepieces

They spin
and it all goes on
without the world
or you
or I
to say no, or
to say yes.

eyes

but if eyes look on me
without looking in me
or even at me
and then those eyes look away
forever
then those eyes haven’t really seen

Harbor

ship with wings
pointing straight up
ship didn’t fly,
as we left the harbor
as we sailed, yes sailed,
toward the sun below me
down around the edge of the world,
I did.

Waking Dream

candle ridden vision
please believe
in screwed-drivers and slow painful moaning
seeping sleeping
tight arms and morning earning
light touches behind the blind
over ears and nape of neck
bending and sliding lithe
let me show you

Changes and all that.

Tomorrow will be Wednesday,
today is Tuesday.
Tuesday is so pretty.

Watching the candle play in circles and leaps
watching the light play in shades and in color
thinking and listening
dreaming and meditation
I can feel the blood flow through me
I can feel the tingling in my hands
I wonder if the world can feel my blood in my feet.

weights on my shoulders and on my neck
are a constant reminder of the years to come
and more of the years that have passed already

I have long fingers and arms
my stomach is full of dark hair and is soft to the touch
my nipples are covered in it, sensitive
sometimes my ankles will crack when I walk first in the morning
or even just move...

my bones are solid, and my limbs long
I feel lanky I feel awkward
my feet are wide and as they should be
they have to keep me up some of the time
just them and my ankles.

things are changing
some move around like caged animals
some grow with life that I didn’t have
there are things that I wish I didn’t have

Sunday was boring,
Monday depressing until the night
Tuesday was beautiful.

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